Ch. 15 The Hazan and Shaver Model

Researchers Hazen and Shaver provided a simply way of identifying attachment styles. There are three types of attachment styles. The first is secure attachment and these people are described as being comfortable with intimacy and closeness, prepared to trust and depend on others and able to acknowledge distress and ask for help. The second type is avoidant attachment. People who use the avoidant attachment style do not trust others and would rather be independent and self reliant and also have emotional distance. The last attachment style is anxious/ambivalent. These people grew up with anxiety because they were afraid of being left alone. They are ok with closeness according to the text but often fear the ones they love will abandon them. Hazen and Shaver listed three responses to a single question “ Which of the following best describes your feelings?”

I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don’t often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting close to me.
I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, and love partners often want me to be more intimate.
I find that others are reclucant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me or wont want to say with me. you want to merge completely with another person.
I choose response number one which is the secure attachment style. I really have no problems being intimate with another person and being close. I know some people shy away from being close to someone but it really doesn’t bother me at all, I love being close with people. Now just because I use the secure attachment and enjoy being close to people doesn’t mean I am close with everyone and trust every single person I know. I have no issues depending on people and I comfortable with having people depend on me.