Ch. 15 The Hazan and Shaver Model

Researchers Hazen and Shaver provided a simply way of identifying attachment styles. There are three types of attachment styles. The first is secure attachment and these people are described as being comfortable with intimacy and closeness, prepared to trust and depend on others and able to acknowledge distress and ask for help. The second type is avoidant attachment. People who use the avoidant attachment style do not trust others and would rather be independent and self reliant and also have emotional distance. The last attachment style is anxious/ambivalent. These people grew up with anxiety because they were afraid of being left alone. They are ok with closeness according to the text but often fear the ones they love will abandon them. Hazen and Shaver listed three responses to a single question “ Which of the following best describes your feelings?”

I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don’t often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting close to me.
I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, and love partners often want me to be more intimate.
I find that others are reclucant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me or wont want to say with me. you want to merge completely with another person.
I choose response number one which is the secure attachment style. I really have no problems being intimate with another person and being close. I know some people shy away from being close to someone but it really doesn’t bother me at all, I love being close with people. Now just because I use the secure attachment and enjoy being close to people doesn’t mean I am close with everyone and trust every single person I know. I have no issues depending on people and I comfortable with having people depend on me.

Ch. 13 Conflict Styles

While dealing with conflict researchers have concluded there are five different styles that people use.

1.Competing style- low concern for others and high concern for self. This style is very assertive.
2.Accommodating style- High concern for others and low concern for self. This person is cooperative, and unassertive.
3.Collaborating style- high concern for self and others. This style is assertive and cooperative.
4.Withdrawing style- Little concern for self and others. People who use this style tend to avoid the situation.
5.Compromising style- moderate concern for self and others. Shows moderate amounts of assertiveness and cooperation.

I hate to admit it but I feel that I use the accommodating style. I really hate conflict and sometimes feel uncomfortable when it does arise. Some advantages of accommodating style is that people can show reasonableness, can improve relationships, can keep another person from harming them. Disadvantages are may communicate lack of power, requires sacrifice of goals. I am usually pretty accommodating and I find that I get less conflict that way however I do feel that I lack power when I communicate. I think it is ok to be accommodating sometimes but I do feel that I need to show more assertiveness and stand up for myself more.


I am always accommodating to people because at times I feel it is best to be nice and that minimizes conflict. However I do need to assert more assertiveness and defend myself more.

Ch. 12 Culture and Self-Construals

According to the book compliance behavior is strongly affected by personality differences and by culture and culturally defined self-construals. There are many cultural differences in compliance behaviors. For example Japanese people use a wider range of tactics than Americans and are more likely to use positive tactics such as promise, positive expertise, and positive esteem. Japanese people try to avoid conflict while Americans almost rely on and expect a confrontation of ideas, reasons, and arguments. Last semester in my Comm 173 intercultural global communication I wrote a paper on Asian international study students who came to America for school. My research found that many Asian students who studied in Asia as children were taught to be quiet in class and to never question their teacher. However when Asian students came to America for school many of them had difficulties with their professors. American Professors expect students to participate in class and ask questions and challenge their ideas and often many Asian students felt uncomfortable challenging and questing teachers.